Snow White UnMasked
Picture of Rachel Mellon

By

Rachel Mellon

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl. Her stepmother treated her so cruelly....

You know the rest. Well, I'm here to tell you that not all stories are like that. By now you're probably wondering who I am. So I'll tell you. My name is Queen Alexandria. I am the "wicked" stepmother in the story "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". I am not wicked at all. This is what really happened. The true story of Snow White.

Okay, about twelve years ago, I married George. (He's Snow White's father). He was a very soft-spoken man. He gave Snow White everything she laid her pretty blue eyes on. Let's see, Snow White was about 4 or 5 when I met George.

She detested me right from the start. I have no idea why. I think it might be because she knew I didn't like the way she had her father wrapped around her little finger.

So one day, when Snow White was about 12, I took her for a little visit to the village where I grew up in. It was a small, unattractive little place, where most of the cottages were dirty and run-down.

Well, anyway, when we neared the village, Snow White flat-out refused to go any further. She said it was too dirty. I finally persuaded her to come. We walked on the road to the village for some time. Snow White holding her nose so high in the air I figured she must be getting a cramp in her neck. She was being so rude that I changed my mind about our visit. I turned around and took Snow White back to the castle.

When we got home, I sent Snow White to her room. Of course she didn't go. Annoyed, I went upstairs to talk to George. I told him how bad I was feeling about Snow White. In the end, we decided it was best if Snow White were to go camping for a while. We figured that if she learned another lifestyle, she might be nicer about hers.

The next day, we sent Snow White off with a trusted woodsman for 1 week. Oh, I will never to the day I die forget that morning. Snow White yelled, screamed, complained, you name it. But we sent her on her way. I was proud of George for being firm for once.

Well, Snow White and Billy (he's the woodsman), were pretty deep into the woods by now. They reached a clearing and Billy began to set up camp. He was just starting to make a fire when he heard a noise. He turned around to see if Snow White was okay, when he noticed she wasn't there. He panicked and ran back to the castle.

Meanwhile, Snow White was feeling pretty proud of herself for giving the slip to Billy. She walked around in the woods, spotting an occasional deer, and feeling bored. This boredom turned to anger towards me, and was thinking up many fierce death plots in which I was the victim. As she walked along, she saw a small cottage. She boldly walked up to the door and knocked on it. Nobody answered, and she walked in. The house was no better looking than a pigsty. She began to clean, this being very surprising, her being the picky person she is. Personally, I think she just wanted to get on the owner's good side.

Later, seven little men walked in, and saw Snow White. Their jaws dropped in surprise and they stared in dumb amazement. Then everyone started talking at once. Snow White told them this totally fake sob story about me being a witch and trying to kill her. They believed her and let her stay there. She still lives there happily ever after.
 

Epilogue

Billy (Remember him? -- The Woodsman)
married and
had a nice happy life.
 
  George and I are still happily married.
 
  Snow White lives with the dwarfs.

There was no prince or poisoned apple or anything --

Snow White just said that to make herself look good.
 


The End!

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